fauna

That last blog got me thinking of the animals in my yard. I have a TINY yard. I don't even think some would even classify it as a yard. It's more like a small patio although I think it's smaller than my parents' "side of the house" which is too small to do anything with except throw the dog shit there. So why would there be so many animals?! I don't know. The only animals that I put there are my tiny tortoises... in my TINY yard. This is Turbo, (Jet was hiding when I went to take the picture).

Yesterday I cleaned the house a bit and open the door to get some fresh air from my tiny yard and this bird was going crazy so after about 1o minutes I went out getting ready to see a HUGE bird from the sound it was making, thinking how could such a huge bird fit in my tiny yard and this is what i saw.

A tiny bird. Actually the smallest bird ever! A hummimngbird! Making that much noise? It was pretty cute though. :)

I think the biggest thing I have ever seen in my tiny yard is what my cousin Krista likes to call "The monster". Actually I have had many infestations of "The Monster"bugs but the first time Krista saw one she screamed like she was being cut up. I had a long discussion with an expert and he told me it was a Manduca Rustica Larve. I think that's what he said anyway.

That picture doesn't really tell how large this thing is... here try this one...

This is my tiny spade that threw it over the wall shortly after I took this picture.

The scariest think I saw was a dimonback rattlesnake. I was looking for the elusive Jet and turned over the tiny ramada I had made for him and there he was, cuddling right next to this horrid creature. No I didn't get a picture of it. God be damned if I went outside again before the "animal" control guy got there. But I did take a picture of the 5 snakes Alex and I saw at the most wonderful cnayon in the world.

Not to worry. These were the "good" kind of snakes. At least that's what everyone has told me. I am just wondering why I my tiny tortoises don't have "good" friends, I caught then hanging out with the Dimondback. I guess that's why Jet was hiding when family picture time comes around. I gave him a good grounding for that one and he was getting back at me. Ahhh, Kids these days. Maybe if I gave them a bigger room...

HOOT!

Nick and Kristine came over last night for a beer. I started telling them about when i first moved into this house and there was a huge owl that used to come around an scare the absolute crap out of me because he hooted so loudly.

All of the sudden it came back! We heard it on the roof and everyone looked around at everyone else to see if that was really happening. Nick shouted for me to go get the camera and this is what we saw.

It was scary and when Kristine started making little mouse sounds I took the picture right when it was scoping us out.

I think we would have second thought our sounds of prey when we found out that it was a BIRD OF SATAN!
Look at those eyes!!! my god!

red necks

I love camping.

Last weekend we went camping to Parker Canyon Lake. The lake was beautiful but it contained no fish. At least none that liked to eat our bait.
Here are some pictures of the gang getting ready to not catch anything.

Eric in his duck hunting attire-

Errriiic...we weren't hunting ducks...
maybe that was part of our problem?

Nick and Kristine, trying to figure out what to do with the dogs. Kristine I'm afraid said she thinks she needs another vacation to get away from her pups. But she sure had a great collection of lotions!

Rock on.


here is Alex and Matt not catching anything and the dog running wild. Notice the wild dog in the upper right hand corner... Here is an action shot.and to end it all. Nick catching one fish. Look at the excitement on his face.

We ate that tiny fish with some awesome cheese soup that Alex attempted to make but all we really came back with were dirt under our fingernails and red necks.

From Sea to Shining Sea

As for my beloved country, I can't say that anywhere can compare to Tucson, Arizona. Alex and I went hiking last Friday. I had the beautiful day off of work and Alex, because he is awesome, took the day off to spend with me. BIG kudos to him.
One thing Alex likes to do, God Bless him, is to take the road less traveled and Friday was no different. The trip started out by taking Alex's new car up to Mt Lemmon , parking at the Prison camp and walking on the Arizona trail. Here is a picture of my lovely city in the desert from on top of the mountain...and starting our hike...
after about an hour or two, Alex decided that we should go off the trail because the trail we were on was too widely used and he knew of a prettier place. Now, believe it or not, I have done a lot of crazy things against other peoples better judgment, but when Alex started treading through the bushes I remembered when I first met him and he went on a 3 day "soul cleansing" hike in the same area. He was alone with a no good map, and all he brought with him was a water filter and some cheese. He got lost, cut up and had to re trace his steps 3 times before calling me and saying, "...Don't get worried, but I'm lost, I see bear tracks and dung all over and I might need you to call the helicopter." Well, needless to say, when Alex said he knew a better way, I thought better of it but because I had pretty good bearings on where we were and I had brought my gators just in case of this exact moment, put them on and told him I would follow. And low and behold I will never second guess that guy again. What we saw was the most amazing piece of canyon! Actually the part we saw was right above seven falls in Bear canyon.
Dear Alex, I will follow you anywhere. Heart.

Hoffmann Roast

So I have been told that my blog is "political" and "not republican" and a british friend of mine asked me to clerify that I really did like America. So I am going to not just write about things in America that I think are "absurd" but also my life. (which still fits the theme since I am an american and things I do are still what life is like in America, and which also fits my friend Ben's theme of selfishness).
So today, not fitting with either of those themes, I want to introduce you to my friends Scott and Julie Hoffmann who are selfless, model Americans to be sure.
There are 2 reasons I want to exploit them, one because Scott (-Dufus affectionatly) sent me pictures of his recent climbing trip to Robbers Roost, UT and the pictures made me so jelous I can hardly stand it, and the second reason is this week is Julie's 30th Birthday and what a good way to celebrate, to have little roost of my own. (I know it's roast, scotty, but you didn't go to Robbers Roast did you?)

I met Scott and Julie in Africa-well actually in a small room in Washington DC on the way to Africa: they were in the Peace Corps with me.
When I think of those early days in Ghana, I remember them like this.- Scott and Julie after Scott had shaved his head for the first time...

cute couple huh?
and they just got cuter as time went on... actually Scott's hair didn't get any cuterthough... here is Scott with his hair buddies Rob and Ben. They took a bet to see how long their hair can grow, but no one knew it was just Julie's slyness that got Mel to make that bet because she didn't like the bald thing. Although, Julie, I'm sorry to say, this wasn't much better.

Here's the cute couple, voted prom king and queen. And yes Scott is not wearing a shirt. Surprised?

I have a favorite picture of Scott and Julie, and this I am proud to say could have been the hardest I have ever laughed in my whole life. And for those of you who know i like to laugh, you can imagine.

What are they doing you might ask? Why is Julie holding a LARGE bottle of beer under her boob? Well just be glad I was laughing too hard to get out my camera and take the picture so you could see why Scott is sitting in a puddle of that beer. And why is Scott in tiny speedos? Well my friends, to this day I STILL have no idea, but scotty does like to drink beer.

Julie also likes to drink beer. This shot is of julie playing a great game we learned called Baghead. I can't really remember the rules, only that if you become the baghead you have to wear a bag on your head and drink your beer through a nasty hole in the bag while others in the game throw bottle caps at you and laugh. Sweet game huh? (notice the bottle cap that has just hit Julie's bag while she was sticking her tougue out of the nasty lil' hole...)

All these pictures are agreed not very good quality, but hopefully Scott and Julie can remember the great times we had andhopefully many more to go.

Love you guys, happy birthday julie.

pimp that snack

ok actually I think this is an English thing, not an American thing, but how cares it's funny.
Have you seen this website? people making huge food! why do we want bigger stuff all the time?
Check it out "pimp that snack".
my by far favorite one is the Cadbury creme egg. The time it took to paint on the tin foil only to be ripped apart and taken a picture of for THIS website! WEIRD!

hummers!

I watched a movie when I got back to the states: Team America. My brother often brings weird movies to my parents house so that we can sit around and watch my parents monstrous flat screen TV which my father bought for himself on my mother's birthday. She was at her charity of a work and came home to see the hole in the wall which held the old TV mutilated and her carpet underneath riddled with wood chips. See my father had gone gown the street a few days earlier and seen the neighbors new High Def 52" flat screen TV and promptly figured out which holiday was closest so he could have an excuse to get one of his own. But the hole for the TV wasn't big enough so he had to get out his electric Saws-All and make the hole bigger. My dad loves Costco as do most Americans because you can get BIG stuff there which comes in BULK! (now that all you Americans have read this I'm sure you want your own huge Television so here is the link) MORE STUFF! See, in bulk you can theoretically buy things cheaper. Americans see this as a bargain but I have rarely seen anyone come out of Costco spending less then $200. (quick fact-$200 is what the average Ghanaian makes in 6 months.
Costco Is America.
Anyway I saw Team America when I got back, and if you haven't seen it , do. It's great. don't see it near the children though, because you will subject them to scenes of puppet humor that don't get shown on channel 6. The movie (full name: Team America, World Police. Putting the "F" back in freedom) is a parody of American life, showing patriotic puppets that have teamed up to fight the world. After watching it you will notice things like this in your own neighborhood...if you can't see it, sorry it's was taken with my camera phone- another great American invention. This picture is of a black Hummer with large bull horns and an American Flag plate tied to the front grate. Yes Folks, America has some of the best road systems in this great world of ours, but we Americans think that we need an armored tank of a vehicle to get from our air conditioned houses to Tony Romas (which is where this picture was taken) and just to put a little "F" in the equation we feel the need to tie horns on the front of our tanks with an American flag, just in case we might see a terrorist at Tony Romas we have the means to mow him down and put an American mark on his ass.
Hummers are America, fuck yeah.

on the eighth day...

so I came back from Africa to be an American again and I have been noticing things that we do that are a little absurd. I've been back for over 2 1/2 years now so I have a lot of things stored up. I just have to go around and take pictures of these absurdities so we can see ourselves again.
so here it starts.
On the Eighth day, God created the American.